Frogs!
by spqr
Summary: There's a strange weather pattern stationed over Newport...


Author's Note:  Writing this was the most fun I've had at work _ever!  Seth gets in touch with his Jewish roots!  Ryan shrieks like a girly girl!  And there's __smuttus interruptus!  And a little aaawww! at the end.  And Seth is naked for the entire story!  Part of the Natural Disasters series._

Rating:  PG-13.

_Frogs!_

The dawn light held the promise of another perfect Newport day.  Ryan was actually getting used to it here, settling into a new life with a new family; for the first time he felt as though waking up every day to a somewhat predictable life just might be OK after all, especially if it was this one.  His contentment was due in no small part to the presence of the boy who lay curled naked beside him, still asleep.  Seth looked so…delicious, that Ryan was tempted to have a bite, or a lick, or a slurp…Good thing Seth's parents were enjoying a nice long weekend in Palm Springs.

_Thump.  "Ribbet."_

Ryan raised his head from where it was poised over Seth's neck.  What was that noise?  When it wasn't repeated, he bent down again, gently suckling, tugging on Seth's earlobe.  Seth made a "hhhmmm" noise in his sleep as his hand came up to rest in Ryan's hair.

_Thump.  Thump.  Splash.  "Ribbet."_

OK, that was just weird.  Ryan rose from the bed and went to the poolhouse door.  Behind him, Seth "hhhmmm-ed" again, then said groggily, "Wait.  Where'd  you go?  Come back to bed, Ryan.  Things were just getting interesting."

"Uh, Seth?"  Ryan asked in a strangled sort of voice, without turning around.

"Yeah, what?"  Seth stifled a yawn and scratched his chest.

"Could you come here a minute?"

"Why?"

"I just…need you to see something."

"Ooh, I like the sound of that!  Can I touch it, too?  Please?"  Seth climbed out of bed and went to stand next to Ryan at the door.  "What?"

Ryan pointed out to the pool and the lawn beyond.  "Do you see it?"

_Thump.  Thumpetythumpthump.  "Ribbet."_

"Dude,"  Seth's voice was awestruck.  "It's raining…frogs…" _Splash!  "Ooh, that one landed in the pool!  And it's not even cloudy out!  Ryan, this is _*awesome*_!"_

"Awesome?"  Ryan's normally low tone of voice rose rapidly to something approaching a shriek.  "Seth, are you listening to yourself?  Frogs are falling out of a cloudless sky!  That is not _awesome, it's _freaky_!  What's going on?  What are we going to do?"_

"I'm sure there are some umbrellas around here somewhere.  Here, let me just find my jeans and then I'll look…"

"Umbrellas?  Seth, you're not going outside!  You can't be serious!"

"Dude, chill.  They're just frogs.  They don't bite, or anything.  They _do have frogs in Chino, right?  I mean, so you're not unfamiliar with the actual animal?  Besides, I think they're letting up," Seth said, peering out.  __Thumpetythump.  "Or maybe not."_

Ryan sat down on the bed and buried his head in his hands.  "Seth," he began, struggling to stay calm, "this is not normal, OK?  And your reaction?  Also not normal.  I may not be from around here, but I'm pretty sure that a rain of frogs is not just a typical Newport thing.  How can you be so calm?"

"Ryan.  While I _personally have never witnessed anything like this, my people are not exactly inexperienced when it comes to falling amphibians."_

"What the hell are you talking about now?"  Ryan's voice threatened to crack again.

"Jews, Ryan.  We have experience with this kind of thing.  Frogs, locusts…haven't you ever read the Old Testament?"  At Ryan's glare, he said, "Uh…yeah, no, I guess not.  And hey, speaking of the OT, maybe we should call the Egyptian consulate in L.A.  I seem to remember something about the Nile turning into blood, or something.  Or maybe it'll be on CNN…"

Ryan stared at Seth incredulously.  "So this is, like, some biblical thing?  Like a curse?  God's punishing us?  For what?"

"Well, not for _that_, " Seth replied, rolling his eyes and motioning to the bed.  "If it was for _that, it'd be raining fire, not frogs.  And technically, it's not a curse, it's a plague.  But really, dude, I'm sure there's a perfectly simple explanation.  They got sucked up by a waterspout or a water tanker plane or something.  If you don't want to go outside while they're still falling, then come back to bed."  _Thumpetythump.  _"OK, so they're kind of loud and distracting.  But as you very well know, I, too, can be loud and distracting," he finished, in what he hoped was his __very best seductive voice._

He knew he had won when Ryan flopped back on the bed with his arm over his eyes and muttered, "It's raining frogs and you want to have sex.  At least there's _some consistency left in this world."_

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Seth was doing his best to distract Ryan from the damn frogs, already, and by the noises Ryan was making he was pretty sure he was succeeding.  Seth hummed under his breath as he skimmed kisses up and down Ryan's torso, his fingers playing with the soft hair that dipped down under the waistband of Ryan's boxer briefs.  Ryan rolled them both over and Seth smiled happily, closing his eyes and waiting for Ryan's mouth on his.

"Oh _shit_!  Seth!  _Seth_!"  Ryan hissed, and although the words were familiar, the panicky tone wasn't.  Seth's eyes popped open to see Ryan staring with wide eyes past his head towards one of the glass walls.

"What?  What is it?"

_"They're staring at us!"_

And sure enough, when Seth craned his head around, he saw a row of frogs of all sizes lined up at the base of the wall, looking in.  "Hey, you're right.  I think that big one likes you, Ryan."  He burst out laughing., but the look on Ryan's face stopped him cold.  "Shit, Ryan, I'm sorry.  It's really freaking you out, isn't it?"  Ryan nodded, shamefaced, blushing a little.  "OK, is it the actual frogs?  Or the fact that they came from the sky?"  Briefly he wondered if he would ever have a stranger conversation.

"Well, ah, both, I guess…I mean, you gotta admit, the whole thing's a little weird.  And…OK, I'm scared of frogs.  You can't tell anyone that, _ever_!"

"Dude, no worries.  I can keep a secret.  Besides, now we're even since you found out about the whole Wonder Woman nightlight thing."  Seth was silent for a minute, then said, "It sounds like it stopped, uh, raining.  Do you want me to go out and scare them away?"

Ryan nodded mutely and Seth got up, found a broom and, still naked, went outside and started making shooing motions at the line of frogs.

Watching through the window, Ryan thought, _My Prince, snorting a little at the sentiment, but knowing all the while that it was true._


End file.
